The queer community has been around for as long as humans have. Sadly, so has homophobia.
The way that the queer community exists or recognized, rather, has evolved. The common understanding of the community started out as people who were attracted to the same sex. There was no understanding of the nuances of gender, sexuality, and the differences between sex and gender. Now, it is understood as a community of multiple orientations (both sexual and romantic, or lack thereof), genders, and sexes.
Unfortunately, the way that homophobia exists has also changed over time. This is not to say that the kind of homophobia that the queer community faced years ago doesn’t exist anymore. The verbal, physical and sexual violence that they were subjected to decades ago, they are still subjected to it. However, there are certain “nuances” that have been added to it.
This homophobia started out as the queer community being told that homosexuality was abnormal, unnatural, and sinful. They were told that God hated them and that they’d go to Hell.
Additionally, members of the trans community were told that God didn’t make mistakes, they were going against God’s will, and that they too would go to Hell.
At that time, the only two visible sects of the queer community subscribed to the homosexual, and transgender identity. Now, the fight that the queer community has fought and won has enabled multiple other identities and sexualities (communities within the queer community) to come to the forefront. These communities include asexuals, non-binary folx, pansexuals, bisexuals, et cetera. It has also been able to draw a distinction between sexual and romantic orientations. As a result, orientations such as panromantic, aromantic, biromantic, et cetera have been able to express themselves.
Now, in order to deal with all of these identities, homophobia has started to present itself as “soft homophobia”. And this type of homophobia doesn’t accept that it is indeed, homophobia.
It presents itself in forms of questions like –
“How many genders will you keep adding to the list? It’s getting too much!”
“I mean, I get it. But why does he have to dress like that?”
“Why does your male friend want to wear a saree? Is he gay or something? I mean, totally cool if he is”
“Homosexuality is fine. But this gender bu**shit is too much.”
“I’m not going to call you “they”. You’re either a man or a woman”
The biggest problem with this kind of homophobia is that it runs on pride. It prides itself on not being homophobic, on accepting queer identities and sexualities.
Let’s deal with this pride first, even in the absence of said homophobia.
This feeling of pride and the need for appreciation is extremely prevalent in today’s world, especially in people who consider themselves “woke.” The definition of woke currently is someone who is not racist, classist, casteist, sexist, misogynistic, xenophobic, islamophobic, homophobic, transphobic, someone who believes that all people are equal. In essence, someone who satisfies the lowest possible standard for being a decent human being. In true millennial terms, these people seek brownie points for being decent humans.
In many cases, people who satisfy this criterion (just on the surface level, most of the times), seek appreciation for themselves. This can often be seen in form of men who say that they believe women should have equal rights saying “I’m a nice guy”, and then being offended when women say “all men are trash.”
In the context of homophobia, however, this can be seen in the form of people saying that they’re fine with homosexuality, followed by “but I would never do it, it’s so gross.”
The first part of that sentence is completely okay. Queer sexualities are not universal (unlike what was assumed, and still is, of homosexuality). Saying that they’re gross, is homophobic in the simplest of terms. However, this goes further.
Many people refuse to accept queer individuals breaking gender norms. When an AMAB (assigned male at birth) person chooses to wear makeup, or accessories or feminine, they have a problem. This doesn’t exist the other way around (assigned-female-at-birth people with masculine clothing) because the “tomboy” look is considered a phase.
When they look at AMAB individuals breaking these norms, they laugh, they point it out, and they call it abnormal. However, when they’re called out, they say they’re fine with all of it. They say they accept it, but it’s still funny. Additionally, they try to justify calling it funny and abnormal by saying that they haven’t seen someone like that before.
Moreover, they try to compare themselves with others.
“You should be grateful that we’re so chill with it. Another family would’ve asked you to stop hanging out with this friend.”
These people seek to be appreciated for pretending to do something everyone should.
They seek to be appreciated for satisfying the lowest possible standard for being a decent human being, which they don’t even do.
“Appreciate me, like me, worship me.
For I pretend I’m a decent human being,
I pretend to accept people as they are.
Appreciate me, like me, worship me.
For after all,
I’m such a nice person for not being grossly homophobic.”
Kommentarer